I'm the nicest asshole you will ever meet.
I honestly think Stardew has the wildest character customization function I’ve seen in a while. Most games give you a closet, or a hairdresser, right? That makes sense! Why wouldn’t your appearance change in a beauty salon? But in Stardew, you enter a mysterious tower inhabited by a wizard and just… walk out with a new haircut and possibly a new name. And nobody even questions it. Gotta love Stardew Valley.
i have this headcanon in stardew valley that alex frequents the clinic for the most fkuced up reason and harvey just—"alright, what is it this time?"
so it's the egg festival, year 2, and i was walking here and there sparking up conversation with the townspeople. almost everyone's dialogues are normal, nothing unusual or out of character... until i talked to harvey
this mf told me it's okay to eat eggs but refrain from consuming 30 pieces a day. naturally, my reaction was what kind of psychopath would eat thirty-fkciung eggs a day?
everything clicked when i talked to alex. this bctih just asked me what would it be like to eat thirty eggs in a day like sir calm down no one's stealing your protein you're going to kill yourself with your diet what made you think it's completely harmless to devour two and a half dozen of eggs for your meal does evelyn even know this????
i could imagine the look on harvey's face whenever alex comes barging in the clinic saying he has a terrible stomachache or something. "idk man i just downed four cartons of milk before going to bed" — bicth why would you do that? no sane person would do what you do are you sure you're okay??? harvey just looks him dead in the eye, sigh heavily, and give him prescriptions. man's too fed up with alex's bullshrt to try to talk some sense to him like at least he's still alive, as long as he's pumping air in his lungs and he can drag his ass in the clinic then there's nothing to be worried about
A collab piece with @doctor-aceus-art, who took care of the awesome coloring (and chair) of my lil lineart 💖🥹 they did such an amazing job and I can't stop staring at him 💞
reference after the cut! ✨
Farmer: I love you so much!
Sebastian, smiling: I love you too!
Sam, sitting on the opposite couch: *shovels another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth* I love you both too
universally hated gifts are the funniest stardew game mechanic. i've already made a post about qi fruit ("why is the farmer suddenly obsessed with growing fruit that looks like that weird guy, ew" -- this has since been deprecated and some villagers like it now, although it is still largely worthless despite being one of the hardest agricultural skills in real life). nobody likes treasure chests, presumably due to some kind of superstition, and nobody likes fossils, presumably because they are a memento mori. everybody hates snails except vincent (slightly realistic but i feel like demetrius and leah should like them). everybody hates uranium except maru. everybody hates poppies and they are all so fake for that. you would think somebody would at least like fairy dust. abigail should like monster musk, right? but she doesn't. nobody thinks the drum block is cool, which is presumably why sam's band has to go to zuzu city to even find a venue. pelican town will never become a hit arts and crafts location for ceramics because nobody likes clay. not even alex likes muscle remedy or energy tonic. and the mobile-only error bread from the saloon? gettoutaheah! everybody hates sugar
stardew valley is great because you play as some washed up city kid who full on sprints across this tiny town every day carrying rocks over their head and chopping down the entire ecosystem for wood and accidentally handing five different residents sap as a gift and eating raw eggs for energy and just all around being kind of a little freak. but there are still twelve different people who are like "they are so babygirl <3 and i want to be with them carnally"
petite-gloom